belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
