Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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