There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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