He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
