i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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