We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do vagina's smell?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
