Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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