If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
