ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
