Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
