I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize