I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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