I wish i was in the wii world.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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