...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
