how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
