I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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