Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
