There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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