We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
