you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
