a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
