so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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