I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize