I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
third nipple confirmed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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