I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
