yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
