Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
