I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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