You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
