Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
