this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize