you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
