so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
