you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
