My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
