He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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