If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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