I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
