Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
