is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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