Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
