I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
