i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
