carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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