i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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