He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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