I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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