Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
