dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
