I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
