Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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