real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
