I think my vagina is haunted
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
