ugly people sure do ruin things
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
