I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
