Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
