Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
