after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
