kristin has been a bad kristin
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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