I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
