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Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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