yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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