he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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