I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
