I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
