Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Randomize
