I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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