I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
