Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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