I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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